Tuesday, May 28, 2013

How To Play (Cheat) in Cricket, Among Other Things

Hey guys!

Haha. I read some of the latest posts and found it funny that all of the bloggers somehow made lists of a sort including summer plans/finals tips. I guess that's what college students are all about currently!

It's been 6 days since my last final, and it is eerily peaceful. I moved out early, as I think everyone knows is the best way to go. It was indeed annoying not having food sometimes and lacking in soap a bit..and then there was the whole sleeping without a pillow for a day or two..but it was worth it when I think of waiting for carts and crowded elevators!
Also- I did well on my micro final!!! I didn't expect it, and in order for an A I needed to ace the final!! Which I did?????? and I'm so glad and I ran in high heels to bear hug my mother when I found out, and almost fell, but it was worth it because I'm not going to fail that class, not at all!!!!!!!

My sister's sweet 16 was a blast. I emceed it, and I think I did decently, although for the first time I had so much to say in a speech and didn't know how to say it all. After her massive 200+ person party, my first cousins (haha- realizing I have to differentiate because I know most of my second and third cousins) and uncles and aunts closed shop at the party hall and we spent the last two days of the weekend chatting and finishing out my sister's large gluten free cake from the party. It's been, well, almost a year since I sat around without any textbook on my mind and just chilled with my family, so it was awfully nice. We played cricket, and I find it hilarious that half the game is shrieking and shouting and people yelling "UMPIRE! THAT WAS FLAGRANT CHEATING!"(who even says "flagrant"?!) or throwing themselves on the ground to catch the ball/slide in to base fast enough. My uncle even purposefully collided with my aunt mid-run just to prevent her from catching the ball he hit, so naturally she threw herself on the ground shouting that she needed 9-1-1 for dramatics afterward. My family should have a theater company. I'm also amused at the fact that my aunts and uncles have all perfected the art of cheating in their own way with this game, except all 9 of them are cheaters and so it's basically a fight to see which team can get away with the cheating better than the other. I've even learned precisely how to properly cheat from all of them. There are many ways, let me tell you. You can fake-cry, you can sneakily hit the ball with your leg instead of your bat (though this is a blatant LBW), you can give the score sheet to your most unreliable uncle, you can throw yourself down near the base to make it look like you've touched it...it doesn't end!

I read from my horoscope that I am restless, flighty, want to travel a lot, am fun and enthusiastic and energetic, love devotedly, if only for a week, and get bored sometimes easily. Does this mean I will get bored with any guy I date?! NooooooO!! I always wanted to be a settle-down conservative nice girl! And wear an apron! And be content in life! Not flighty and restless! Is this all indicative that I will be like the mother in A Doll's House? Or like Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love, who ups and travels because she feels unsatisfied? Not that they were wrong to be unsatisfied. More like I want to avoid that dissatisfaction in life! I think this bothers me because, well, I think some of it's a bit true. It also said that I can be very depressed if not active or busy. And, don't get me wrong, I'm full of joy to be free, but I wonder what I would do without summer plans. So far they are: Spain, Chem 104 during Summer Session II, and possibly volunteering. And it'll be Ramadan and before you know it, I'll be back in school and starting with the Nursing program (! I got in! Did I mention this? I don't know! But if not, then now you know! I'm excited and scared for the unknown!) And anyway, I am really depressed if un-active. I don't know why. It just doesn't suit me to not be academically propelling myself somehow during the year. However, I am more than fine with physically sitting around and watching movies as you all must be aware. I think, though, that I'm okay with wasting away under junk food and movies during breaks, as long as I'm content with what I've done during the year. At this time of the year all everyone asks is, "What are you doing this summer?" And then they detail their plans of going to Germany and doing an intense internship they got and etc etc. I realize that I too am slightly fitting that mould by going to Spain, but I'll be taking classes the whole summer- there, and when I get back. I don't think I would mind taking my relationship with books and TV to the next level. I'll fit it in somehow.

So-  going to Spain in a few days!! After recovering from my sister's party, I'll now have to start packing...and shopping...sweet lord jeesus! It feels weird to be going away during both of my breaks, but I fear that if I don't go now, I won't get to go later. I imagine being tied down with work, or school, or a relationship, or marriage, and then kids and I'LL JUST NEVER GET TO GO IF I DON'T GO NOW! I'm free and single and independent, and who knows how long my life will be like this! Probably only a few more years!

I think a lot of my relatives don't quite realize that Macaulay gives us money to study abroad, so I fear a lot of people think I'm freeloading off of my parents constantly to travel! But this is also because Macaulay still isn't too well known upstate. * Note on "upstate": I live in a quaint town named Lagrangeville. Yes, there are horses and cows. There are 2 farms that are maybe a 10 minute run from my house. I live on 2 acres of land. I have gone horseback riding, and milked many a cow at Camp Sprout Creek Farm. Yet, crazily enough, this enchanted "upstate" I speak of does not quite resemble the area where the hobbits live from LOTR.  There is no *ye old hobbyt medley* music that envelops the land in a sound that speaks of ale and cheese, and short, large footed people. Civilization abounds upstate, miraculously! There is indeed a McDonalds nearby and even a ...wait for it...mall!
Saying all of this because several people I've interacted with about the wonders of upstate are quite besotted with the idea that it's all farmland or that I live on a farm.
WHICH I DO NOT. Why, you ask?
BECAUSE I AM NOT ALMANZO WILDER FROM LAURA INGALLS.
*HE* LIVED ON A FARM, OKAY
(Sorry Almanzo, I still liked you despite the farm, actually I liked you with the farm! Even though you were 10 years older than Laura! It's coo'.)

Anyway well, I hope you all are enjoying the first fresh few days of summertime (though it's technically not summer yet)! By the way, random fact: if you are interested in film, you can be a movie extra if you just check out craigslist! Or if you're an obsessive fangirl of any movie/actor/actress, then..you should check it out! I almost would've gone to be a Spiderman 2 extra, but alas, I was entrapped in the tangles of a web I like to call Anatomy & Physiology: Second Semester Woes.
If you aren't doing anything besides relaxing this summer, props to you. I'm worried that I won't get to travel about and be free as the years go by, but maybe I also won't get to relax, carefree, either. So, whether it's to a busy summer or a relaxing one, hats off to all of us for making it through the year!

Amirah

PS I know that everyone wants to know what movies/shows/books I have managed to enjoy during the first few days of freedom. Fear not, I have not forgotten to detail them here! I would never forsake my dedicated readers in such a way! (This is sarcasm everyone! I don't even know who reads this! Hello though, if you are reading this!)
-I sobbed of joy at the conclusion of Quintana of Charyn by Melina Marchetta
-I watched 6 hours straight of this anime- Kaicho wa maid sama? that my friend and sister rave about. First anime I've really watched. It was good. Fangirling was involved.
-Reading Anna Karenina. It's really good so far. Oblonsky is a cool name.


PPS Here is the official How-To Guide, since I've titled the post after this.

How To Play (Cheat)  In Cricket
1. Follow the guidance of your wily uncles and aunts. There is no honesty in this game.
2. If you don't catch the ball, throw self on ground and feign devastatingly dramatic injury to elicit sympathy from an otherwise fair umpire. Shout for 911 so that it looks like you've been wildly injured by the batter and that retribution must be delivered in the form of an out. At this point, miraculously recover and chuckle maybe a little maniacally at your clever victory.
3. Pretend it's Lagaan, especially at the last few moments and scramble to raise the pressure and do all in your ability to save your team. Channel Aamir Khan for inspiration. And to feel attractive and muscled.
4. Put the score sheet in the hands of your uncle who may or may not be susceptible to cheating tendencies, and who is emotionally attached to one team and would be terrible at accounting, let alone tallying points.
5. Assign your younger cousins to villainously and strategically try to distract rival batters by dancing and running around nonsensically before they start garnering points for the opposing team with power hits.
6. Victory dance at all relatives you get out. Induce tears from younger cousins.
7. Blast Indian remixes to pump it uppp!
8. "Accidentally" collide with fielders mid-run to prevent them from catching your hit. Insist they were in the way.
8. If it is the end of the game and you are the last batter and the fate of the game rests on your shoulders, channel the untouchable from Lagaan and bring your team to victory!!
7. Lose your voice from all the shrieking, shouting, victory yelling, and arguing that breaks out in humongous family. Eat auntie's curry for sustenance and to revive hoarse voice. Repeat.






No comments:

Post a Comment