I Met Mindy Kaling, I Graduated from College Three Times, and I Changed, A Bit

Before I dive into ~deep, reflective mode~ in my last post here (omg. actual sob. I am very sad about this) here are some random updates I feel compelled to say here:
In my old posts, I talked about my love for Mindy Kaling a bunch of times. In true full circle, I MET HER AT BOOK CON LAST WEEK!!
Let me rephrase: I pushed myself to the front of the line, begged her to shake my hand while people swarmed her, and shouted "I'VE HAD NIGHTMARES ABOUT MEETING YOU!" at which she looked at me and said, "Nightmares?!" (The nightmare was that you didn't like me, Mindy Kaling!) But hello, I got her attention!!!!! So much success. Also, one of my favorite books, Attachments, is about this guy falling in love with his coworker from reading her emails (his job is to monitor emails). I told the author how much this resonated with me and how much I loved emails and she and I shared a moment of mutual appreciation and she thanked me for loving it so much!!! Ugh I love authors!!! Also, last thing, my english multicultural lit professor told me at the end of my presentation, "Very engaging. I didn't know you were that funny." THIS COMING FROM THE MOST ENGAGING, FUNNIEST PROFESSOR I'VE HAD. I died.

I think I have to discuss my post-grad plans here, bcuz it's probably relevant (or is it? Isn't Mindy Kaling much more relevant?)
I graduated with a Nursing major and English minor. I'm going to start prepping for my NCLEX exam to become an RN soon. I take the exam sometime in July. If I pass, I want to travel in August. Starting tomorrow, I have to apply to jobs, hopefully get one with a nurse residency program, and then IDEALLY work as an RN in September and hone my skills as a new nurse. Once I work for about a year or at least half a year I want to decide for sure what I want to specialize in (geriatrics, I'm thinking) and figure out a grad program. Hopefully the hospital I'm working for will pay for it if I'm working there. Then like, I will attempt to understand what a 401K is and get an apartment with my brother somewhere? I will attempt to cook and do adult-ish things like pay for ...light bills or something. And like, work. Maybe I will buy wallpaper, because that strikes me as ~independent!~ and ~adult!~ although mostly I just want to buy flowery wallpaper! Additionally, I have grand plans to learn ASL, Arabic & or Hindi, go back to the trumpet & piano and learn new skills. Also I plan to buy lots of YA books with any money I make. And movies. Basically things for sustenance. Right now, I am nervous to become a nurse, but also determined!

Ok, now for my thoughts on ending college (whoa, hope this post doesn't read like I take myself too seriously, hope it reads like I am trying for some semblance of organization):

In yearbooks, and the nursing yearbook, people usually write "Never change!!" I used to think it was sweet, but after nursing school, I learned...life is about change and adapting to it. I would even go so far to say that, arguably, the point of life is change. "Love change or die!"

In college, I don't know how much I changed. I guess I would say that I finally bloomed a bit. Oh god, that sounds SO. VERY. CHEESY TO SAY. But, it's true. I realized the value of combing one's hair and putting effort into one's appearance. I became a less awkward dancer, I dressed better, I went more places and didn't shrivel into awkwardness when talking to boys. I think I continued to talk very loudly wherever I went, though. I don't really have much poise or a sense of propriety, but I have a bit more than I started with. I gained more confidence, I acknowledged compliments rather than refusing to take them and I think I became a bit more emotionally mature. Or not, because a YA novel can reduce me to tears in minutes, but let's go with that for now.
While I'm glad about these changes and definitely a purporter of change, I don't mean to suggest that inherent personality traits should change. For example, Colin Firth & SRK would be devastated if I lost the romantic part of me that passionately loves them from afar. And lots of neighbors would be very sad if the decibel of my voice was to be lowered! And who would librarians have to fine, if not for my late returning-ways?

Last year, I attended the Hunter Bellevue Nursing graduation and wished desperately that I would win an award upon graduating and be in the program, and I wished that I would get to speak at graduation. How lucky when the things you dream for come true! I graduated with honors, a nursing award in school leadership, and got to speak at graduation! I think I'm most proud that I went after the things I wanted, unwaveringly, even if it scared me (to go to India alone after a breakup), even if no one valued it (an English minor is less useful than a Spanish one), even if no one knew what it was (Book Con is amazing and I need everyone to realize that), even if no one read it (the HBSON newsletter, possibly this blog, but JK, people actually read this, yay!), even if it broke my own heart (breaking up), even if I had to swallow my pride (fixing friendships) and even if it was hard (doing an externship. Becoming a nurse). You can't always do what you want, because it's selfish and can hurt others. But I think college is the time allotted to do exactly that, and I feel happy that I did. I hate having regrets, as does the average person, and whenever I made a decision I wondered if I would regret not doing it later. For example, defying my professor's recommendation NOT to selfie on stage at graduation - would I regret not doing it later? Yes. Did I regret that it was embarrassing? Yes, but I'm more glad that I had the guts to do it. And make 500 people stand up for it. Oh, god.

On graduations: the real stress was finding 3 dresses for 3 days of graduation!! (Secret: I wore one dress twice. I know, fashion police, I know!! But no one saw it under the gown.) 
I won't lie. I am TOTALLY really proud that I'm still 20 years old (right, with my maturity level it's really undetectable I know) and graduated from three programs (technically, ok, lol) this year. I loved being a part of three awesome schools - CUNY Hunter, Hunter-Bellevue School of Nursing, and Macaulay Honors College! My first grade teacher had me skip a grade and I graduated a bit younger and sometimes I was pretty immature and I still don't have an ID and I finished college and sometimes my classmates treated me like a little kid but, but, it feels nice to have finished before 21.
Here is a poem I wrote about graduation:
gowns
all around
oh, how they abound
and flow without sound
they also make us look round

Graduating was great. I pretended everyone was my fan and I waved princess-style to them. I hollered to my friends. My hair was consistently fabulous. I wore heels. Selfies were warranted, practically required! It was nice! The Hunter graduation was so emotional and inspiring, the Nursing one was sort of the best day of my life, and the MHC one was a sweet ending.

Today I posted an fb album with photos of friends from graduation and the photos sucked me down memory lane. I've been making it a point to tell all the former & current friends I met in college what they meant to me over the years. As in writing them a yearbook entry via note under their door, verbally saying it to their face, or posting a fb picture and saying what I loved about them. What's the point of having feelings or appreciating people if they don't know it?

This post should have direction, but like every post I've posted on here, it is severely lacking in this. I'll attempt some, though, through a list:

Things I Learned in College:
1. How to appreciate fruits
2. How to have one-person dance parties
3. How to have 8-person dance parties
4. How to not really attend any other kind of parties
5. How to have a boyfriend
6. How to not have a boyfriend
6. How to grow to appreciate weekends at home
7. How to cook bland and American meals
8. How to run 2 miles without stopping
9. How to swiftly navigate a run to Hunter College
10. How to be a nurse
11. How to cite APA
12. How the body works
13. How important sleep is
14. How to blow-dry my hair
15. How to have more self-confidence
16. How to keep friends
17. How to lose friends
18. How to flirt with waiters
19. How to spend a lot of time on facebook
20. How to be a better person
21. How to LOVE TV SHOWS
22. How to fall in love with professors
23. How to maintain no drinking
23. How to CONQUER MY FEAR OF NEEDLES!
24. How to travel alone
25. How to document my life, way too much
26. How to be alone
27. How to be at home the city
28. How to love myself more.
29. How to appreciate my parents and my grandparents more.
30. How to value high emotional IQs
31. How to do scary paperwork and pay for things and be tax exempt
32. How to be a better leader!!

I am sad that the "best years of my life" are over, but I know that I tried to enjoy and appreciate them while I had them. I also think and hope that more beautiful times are to come (iA). This last week was an emotional week. I moved out of Brookdale forever, I graduated from Macaulay, I read my best friend's yearbook entry to me, and I saw my nursing class as a group for the last time & signed yearbooks with them. I feel sad, but not just because our time living together and being this group together has ended, but because I feel drowned in nostalgia and memories. But, such is life. I will keep them with me.

My friends mattered so much to me over these four years, and I lost some, kept some, and in the end, I look back at it so fondly. My MHC friends were so similar to me - values, goals, interests, and I loved meeting people who were like me. My nursing friends gave me a different kind of friendship, which was just plain love for people who are there during the hardest, toughest parts of school. That bond is too real.  I don't know how many friends I'll stay in touch with and how close we'll be, but I loved the four years we had together.

Mostly, I feel lucky to have had my family. I would be nowhere without them.
To incoming freshmen - cherish your time as much as you can! Appreciate what you have! Use your opportunities fund. GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT.  Why not? What is holding you back? If you don't get it, you don't get it. But you tried!

Finally, thank you to Macaulay. I don't know what else to really say except that I was so blessed to be a part of MHC. From the first day I heard about it, it was my dream to be accepted. To be in the city, live for free, attend school for free, study abroad for free, and study for four years in a diverse school for smart, hardworking kids. I am sitting here and shaking my head at how fortunate I am. Thank you, Macaulay. For the laptops. For the advisors. For the opportunities. For the support. For this part of my life. I hope and plan to give back and the alumni network seems popular so though I won't be filling this blog with my ramblings, I will stay a part of this amazing AMAZING AMAZING BEAUTIFUL BLESSED SCHOOL!!! We are so lucky.

It's been a real pleasure writing for this blog, even if my posts were ridiculous and irrelevant and mainly about TV show recommendations. Thanks for reading, and good luck.

Amirah Yasin

P.S. If you have no ideas how to decorate your hat (as I did) simply photoshop your face & your favorite actor's face together and you will be a hit!!!
Ah. If Shahrukh only knew.

P.P.S Book recommendations:
-An Ember in the Ashes by Saba Taahir, think Hunger Games + Divergent + Finnikin of the Rock but still original and very good!!! It's been out for a month and already picked up to be a movie...GO YA BOOKS
- All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. Mental health, teens, much feels, much cry, very well written
-A Court of Thorns & Roses by Sarah J. Maas (who I met at Book Con GAH). Retelling of Beauty & the Beast with hot faeries (ew, did I just say that? They are in the book though), a much more kickass and grumpy Belle, and good romance!
- P.S I Still Love You this title just seems like something I'd love. It totally is, even as I tried to mock this book series by Jenny Han. It's adorable, ok, and good if you want to read some cutesy good HS comfort books.
- Finnikin of the Rock by Melina Marchetta. My favorite fantasy book series in the world.
Also please everyone, watch Outlander and The 100. Only watch The 100 if you read Sarah Rees Brennan's parody first, below: 
And also if you love Bob Morley's face. He is Australian.  His name in the show is Bellamy. He likes to be tough and kill people but have a moral compass!! He is everything. I need to go to Australia.

The End

Hi, everyone!!

OMG. My last post ever.

It won't be a long one because I started a full-time job on Wednesday, and I'm already exhausted. haha. It's a great job though. I'm working in a doctor's office as a medical receptionist, and I've already learned so much about how a private practice functions. Did I mention that this is my first job ever? Like ever. haha. I've only ever done volunteer and/or internships that were paid for via the Opportunities Fund. This is my first time actually having a salary and working 9-5 PM 5 days/week. It's been exciting and overwhelming and fun too. I'm looking forward to seeing how it progresses! :)

Speaking of work, I had an awesome lunch at Bareburger today. Their burgers are so good! They offer all different kinds so definitely try one out.

Macaulay graduation was the night before I started my job. It was beautiful and just as great as I thought that it would be. (It was in Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center.)

I've talked about this fountain so many times on this blog.
 Definitely one of my favorite places in the city. 

Macaulay building! About to go in and get my honors stole before graduation.

That morning, I also visited my high school and the office that I used to monitor for. It was great catching up and telling them all of the exciting things that have been happening. Every time that I go back there, it feels surreal to have to wear the "visitor" sticker. The four years that have passed have just flown by.

Back to Macaulay for a sec. I'm so incredibly grateful for all that Macaulay has given to me. These four years have been such a blessing. Or more accurately a series of blessings. The Opportunities Fund. My amazing advisors: Adrienne Fitzgerald, Jodi Caplan, and Charlotte Glasser. My seminar classes. My fellow Macaulay students. The fact that I graduate with no debt.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

And a huge thank you to Celine Joiris (Macaulay Hunter '12) who started this blog in 2009.

It's been such a pleasure to tell you all about what's going on in my life for the last 4 years. I now have the pleasure of looking back on 150 posts worth of memories as I continue my journey. You know, it's funny. Growing up, I was never good at keeping a diary, but I never missed a post on here. I think that's because I know that I'm writing for an audience. An audience of prospective and current students and random strangers who come across this blog. (hello, random stranger!)

Thanks for reading. :)

S.

For this last semester, I've decided that I'll share one cool/interesting/thought-provoking thing that I happen to run across during the week:

My first post

The End is Here?

Hi, everyone!

The title of this post has a question mark right after it because I still have one more big thing to do before I can say good-bye to college: Macaulay graduation. Ahhh.

I had my Hunter graduation this past Wednesday. It ended up being a great day, but we were running late the whole day. haha. My hair appointment was scheduled for 11 AM, but I didn't end up sitting in the chair until about 50 minutes later because it took an hour to do the curls of the girl before me. But anyway, my mom and I got our hair done and rushed out of there to go home and get dressed. We got home at the time that we originally wanted to leave for graduation. :p We got dressed and hightailed it to the train station. We got to MSG a few minutes after 2 PM (which is when they recommended everyone to show up) so the timing ended up being fine. But then it was kind of a mess at MSG because I couldn't figure out where I had to go to line up. My friend from middle school (who was graduating with me) ended up running into me, and we eventually found our way to where we had to be. haha. Thank God for her.

The ceremony was absolutely beautiful and emotional and lovely. Sitting in the theater at MSG, watching President Raab highlight so many amazing students in our graduating class, hearing the words of encouragement from the speakers, and watching the confetti coming down on us (and hearing "A Sky Full Of Stars" at the same time) are all things that I'll never forget.

A piece of confetti, the program, and a pom-pom. haha

I had to get that MSG shot. Forgive the misplaced hood. I couldn't get it to sit quite right. haha

Floral all day. 

For the last few weeks, I've been telling everyone that finishing college hasn't hit me yet, but I think it's finally hitting me now. After graduation, we came home, we had shish kebabs, and I posted a picture of myself in a cap and gown on Facebook, but it was only yesterday that I said the words "I'm a college graduate" to myself and had my own OMG moment.

It also hasn't felt like the end because I'm applying to med school, and I'm still at Hunter all the time taking care of business related to that. It's not a clear good-bye like it was in high school. I think that's actually a good thing though because I'm blessed to still be able to use my Macaulay advisor post-graduation to figure out this whole med school thing. I also just want to be a great alumna and to give back my time and money to make Hunter (and Macaulay Hunter) a continuously better place for students.

Plus, even though I had a more solid good-bye with high school, I've gone back to visit a bunch of times. I went back three times during my freshman year and once every year since. haha. What can I say? When you spend so much time in one place and the people there mean a lot to you, then you should make the effort to continue those relationships.

Both Macaulay and Hunter ask graduating students to contribute to a senior class gift as a way to give back for all that we've received. They ask for $20.15 (in honor of our graduating year), but students are welcome to give more or less than that. I was happy to give $20 to each, and I hope to continue giving back in the years to come. And hopefully in greater amounts as I start to make money. haha

Some things that make me proud of my college experience:

1. Getting over my fear of escalators. Before I started college, I avoided escalators like the plague. I have a lifelong fear of heights, and escalators had always freaked me out with their dizzying heights and unstable nature. When I first visited Hunter as part of a campus tour at the end of my junior year of high school, I freaked out about the escalators in the main building. Just weeks into my freshman year at Hunter, I was over my fear. haha.

2. Never pulling an all-nighter. Seriously. I've only stayed up until 12:30 AM.

3. Working directly with patients. I remember the butterflies in my stomach before walking into my first patient room. And then, how quickly it began to feel natural.

4. Working in a lab. Working in a professional lab gave me a lot of respect for what scientists do everyday and made me comfortable in the lab environment.

5. Making good friends. I'm happy to say that I'm still friends with people that I met during my first couple of weeks of college. My friends have given me a lot of good memories and opened up my world more than they could know.

6. Being in a study group. One of those friends that I met during that semester is the one who started our bio study group. The five of us (others joined us for some sessions but didn't stay permanently) studied together for two semesters. I didn't believe in study groups before this one, and now, I tell everyone that they're a great idea if done right.

7. Love. That's all I'll say about that. ;)

8. Re-imagining my style. I started adding more skirts and dresses to my wardrobe and just paying more attention to what I wear. It's been a lot of fun exploring my style.

9. Picking myself up after Orgo I. I had difficult first half of my sophomore year because of my struggles with taking Orgo I along with 4 other classes. But then, I came back that second semester and got myself an A- in Orgo II. One of the happiest moments in college.

And finally....

10. Not giving up. I kept on going through all of the anxiety-ridden moments. I stayed and persisted and just kept moving. And believe me, there were a number of times when I felt like I was drowning in anxiety. But I've made it my mission to learn how to deal with whatever is thrown at me. I haven't mastered it yet (and maybe I never will), but just paying attention to my breath and giving myself time to rest has done wonders.

Only one more post left...

S.

For this last semester, I've decided that I'll share one cool/interesting/thought-provoking thing that I happen to run across during the week:

Commencement photos

The End Is Near...

Hi, everyone!

A quick Saturday night post for you guys...

The semester officially ends tomorrow, which is also when I have to submit my last paper. Then, Wednesday, I'm graduating from Hunter. The following Tuesday, I'm graduating from Macaulay. And then, summer and the rest of my life. haha

I took my last exam on Thursday. Wrote in a blue book for the last time.

It all feels surreal. I'm ready to graduate and go on, but I also find myself memorizing the way the Hunter bridges look and how it feels to go up the escalators and sit in a classroom. Things that I will yearn to remember one day. Things that feel so fresh in my mind now but will be a distant memory one day.

On Wednesday night, Hunter hosted a dinner for Macaulay students. I'm so glad that I went because I got see some Macaulay students that I haven't seen in a long time. We all had dinner together and toasted to the rest of our lives. Hunter's president was there and the Macaulay Hunter director was there and they both said beautiful things about us. There were also a few faculty members including my seminar 4 professor who ended up sitting at my table. His class is one that I will always remember, and I'm so glad that he was there that night.

Yesterday, my partner and I at The Macaulay Messenger met with the new co-editors-in-chief to discuss their responsibilities for next year. I'm so proud of what we've done this year, and I know that they will do even better.

I've started watching Orange Is the New Black! I know, I know. I'm late. haha.

S.

For this last semester, I've decided that I'll share one cool/interesting/thought-provoking thing that I happen to run across during the week:

Swearing Off the Modern Man

Many things happening...

Hi, everyone!

It's late on a Friday night, and I'm exhausted. It's the end of the semester (I sat in my last class ever yesterday. What?! ), and a lot of things are going on. Finals, the medical school application process, senior events, wrapping up my involvement in student organizations, graduation stuff, planning for my summer job, and a bunch of personal things as well. Ahhh. It's a lot, but I know I can do it with the help of my calendar, my breathing, and sleep. haha.

I went to my last MSC meeting today. I've enjoyed going to these meetings all year and seeing how events get planned and how ideas become something tangible. I hope it's something that gets continually better over the years, and I hope that you all get involved with it if you choose to come to Macaulay. :)

I had a lot of awesome food this week. haha

Monday: buffet at Red Olive (they have all kinds of good stuff) and a lamb shawarma sandwich at the King of Falafel and Shawarma food truck in Astoria (good price and awesome flavor)

Wednesday: all you can eat buffet at Andaz (I've talked about this place before, and it's a must try. I ate way too much and was like a waddling penguin afterwards. haha)

Thursday: Cheesecake at Eileen's (I've also talked about Eileen's before. Definitely the best cheesecake that I've had. Soft and creamy and just perfect.)

Friday: Pizza at the MSC meeting courtesy of Macaulay (cheesy goodness as always)

I also took 2 exams this week, and I'm hoping that I did well on them. Sigh. Exam anxiety is one part of college that I won't miss. Luckily, many med schools are pass/fail now so there's less of a stress.

I also got both sets of graduations tickets (Macaulay and Hunter) on Monday. Ayy. And I also have both sets of caps and gowns. So exciting.

I'll be writing a paper this weekend. I'm going to try to make it as painless for myself as possible. Just get it done so that I can move on to other things on my to-do list. That means more focusing, less time on BuzzFeed. haha

S.

For this last semester, I've decided that I'll share one cool/interesting/thought-provoking thing that I happen to run across during the week:

Love through the ages

Journeying through Nursing School

I'm so tired, but this is one of the last few of my posts EVER on this blog and today was the last day of nursing school, so I feel it's a bit momentous.

I'll be honest, I didn't love nursing before I started nursing school. Then whyever did you apply, Amirah, if you were so sure that your passions lay in film, teaching, english and journalism? Because, I was undecided, and nursing was secure. I thought it was dumb and that anyone with a minimum education could do it because nurses have had a terrible image in the media. But, my friends, this is a lie, because it is one of the toughest undergrad majors there is. I believe this is because it's sort of like condensed undergrad medical school. Also, it wasn't dumb, on account of how my GPA has dropped because it was so very challenging. We do hours of rotations, then a preceptorship (96 hours in one month! Go me!) at the very end all while taking pharmacology or pathophysiology classes in addition to 8credit nursing lecture classes. It is impossible a) not to become a cult group with your nursing friends b) not to love your nursing friends to DEATH because nursing friendships are truly a different kind of friendship. When you wipe butts together, live under constant fear of failure and study seemingly impossible material together, you're bonded for life. My peers were so supportive, so caring, genuine, smart and funny that from the first day I couldn't help but love the career I convinced myself I would hate. I am clumsy, a bit of a daydreamer, and hate(d) needles. But I found out that I loved the human body (proud college moment: getting a 100 on an A&P lab test); that I could draw blood on others without shriveling up (while I hate needles, I'm ok with putting them in others); that needles are useful for medication-drawing; that there's nothing more I love than working with my geriatric patients; that I want to be just like the inspiring faculty I've met here; that endless access to alcohol swabs is life-changing; that running around is what I'm best at; that talking to patients comes naturally and I love being able in a position to help others; that I look decent in scrubs and maybe it's fate that I'm in a career where I can just where the same thing every day cuz I'm really excellent at that; that I'm really, really proud of the way nursing is a lifestyle and not just a profession; that the opportunities and fields in nursing are endless. Nursing earned my respect, and it deserves it.

I came into the program feeling like I'd relinquished my love for English and writing and found that there was a nursing newsletter I could join. I thought nursing closed doors to me - because I couldn't double major, minor, or take too many outside classes - but I was so wrong. It is SO cliche. But I've never been so happy to be wrong and to have grown to love something the way I did with nursing. Hunter-Bellevue changed my life. I cared more about my health - because you can't be a nurse without making healthy lifestyle adjustments - and got mini abs from running these past 5 months! I love nurses and the kind of people that become nurses. They are so kind, and dedicated.

Am I still crazy frightened about a) passing the NCLEX and b) honing my skills as a nurse? YES. Because it is a TOUGH JOB. Being on your feet for 12 hours a shift? Having lives in your hands? I wanted to go straight to grad school because I love being a student, but I've finally accepted that becoming comfortable with my skills as a nurse is a lot more important right now. And for those other passions - journalism, english, media, teaching - of mine? I found a way to follow my English passion in nursing and I know that there's a dire need for nursing faculty. I'm interested in media portrayals of nursing and....I think I'll try to find a way to make it all work. Otherwise, I'll be okay following my love of film by marathoning at home. You can always make your passion a hobby.
I'm excited and terrified to join the field and care for people. I'm anxious about the school to work transition. I'm sad to leave my friends; I'm emotional about being on the "cusp of adulthood" but mostly, I'm glad I've made it this far.

Amirah

PS. May is great, and so busy, much events!
PPS. THEY CANCELED THE MINDY PROJECT AND MY LIFE IS OVER!

Mole, Exams, and Difficulties

Hi, everyone!

I only have five posts left on this blog. Ahhh.

We have been blessed with gorgeous weather this week. Finally. haha. Consistently good weather which I hope will last. I feel like I'm always talking about the weather on this blog. haha. Especially how much I love when spring comes in full force and the sun graces us again. Like right now, I see the sun shining outside my window. And I hear the birds chirping. It's beautiful.

So I have 2 exams next week. Cancer bio and endocrinology. I'm looking to get good scores on both. I want to finish strong. :)

Especially since I got back my second endo exam yesterday, and I didn't do as well as I thought. :(

So now I have to rock this next one on Monday. Ah, the pressure. But it's all good. At least I like the material.

After having my mood be a bit ruined by that score, the day much improved when I gave my presentation for my Our Bodies, Our Politics class. The presentation gave a synopsis of my final project for the class, which focuses on surgeries involving female genitalia including labiaplasties, hymenoplasties, etc. It's a topic that doesn't get talked about as often as it should so I'm glad that I got a chance to educate people about it.

My day got even better when I got some great news regarding my job search. Yay! Fingers crossed that all goes well.

This week, I had mole and pozole for the first time. So yummy! Mole is made with chocolate and chiles and other awesome things and there's nothing quite like it. And pozole is perfect for those cold winter days when you need some comfort food. Mexican food is just awesome.

I made a difficult decision this week that I'm doing my best to come to terms with. All I can say is that when loss happens, you have to let yourself grieve, but then, you have to move forward because there's a whole world out there, and it misses you.

Random, but does anybody think that iced coffee sometimes looks better than it tastes? haha

I saw Her last night. Really great movie that shows that certain things about love are the same no matter who is involved (an operating system, a human being, a ?).

S.

For this last semester, I've decided that I'll share one cool/interesting/thought-provoking thing that I happen to run across during the week:

Frida's wardrobe

The Spring that was Summer

It seems like all I've had a chance to talk about this semester so far is my study abroad in Florence! I've neglected posts about my daily life here at the dorms and at school. So here's some stuff I've forgotten to post about.

I've been taking some really interesting and challenging classes this semester. In my multicultural literature class we've been talking about hegemony, racial divide, and white supremacy (three of my favorite topics). We're currently reading Twilight by Anna Deavere Smith, a play about the 1992 LA Rodney King riots. I believe that if everyone read this book and Citizen by Claudia Rankine, the world would be a much better place. With everything going on in Ferguson, South Carolina, Baltimore, and even New York, all of my classes have really started to get into this topic of racial violence. I've written a number of essays on this topic in radically different classes. Here's a sample of some of them: for my feminist perspectives on porn class, I wrote an essay comparing these gonzo police brutality videos to pornography; in my classics in feminist thought class, I wrote an essay about the assumptions of criminality projected onto black bodies and the disparate treatment of these bodies by the justice system; and finally, in my multicultural literature class, we're going to write a final paper about the similarities between the Rodney King riots and the current events. It just goes to show how different disciplines can address a single topic in a whole variety of ways.

On a similar note, I have been reading a lot of interesting articles, books, and texts for my classes and they're all so good I just have to share some of them with you guys. First and foremost is the revelation of Borderlands/La Frontera by Gloria Anzaldúa. I'm surprised I knew nothing about border theory until now, as it is so useful in feminist theory. In fact, I read this book for two different classes this semester. We approached it from different perspectives in each class, which was fascinating. Since I'm studying so many different disciplines (philosophy, english literature, women and gender studies), there are so many different theories and perspectives that are cross-disciplinary that help me think of things in an interesting and helpful way. For example, in my philosophy class (revolutions in modern philosophy), we're learning about Hegel's social theory; it helps me think a bit about the 'ideal' or most 'actualized' society and helps me reflect on whether we really live in that society or if it is ever truly possible.

Other books/texts that I've found interesting: Assata by Assata Shakur, Regeneration by Pat Barker, A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf, On the Genealogy of Morals by Friedrich Nietzsche, "Imitation and Gender Insubordination" by Judith Butler, Dora by Sigmund Freud, and The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz.

A lot of people struggle to find the connection between theory/philosophy and social transformation. One of the themes of my multicultural literature class is the connection between multicultural literatures and social transformation. A lot of people struggle with a degree such as mine, figuring that it's useless and esoteric, not understanding the value of theory. Yet another great article I would point those people to is bellhooks' piece entitled Theory as Liberatory Practice in which she explains that dealing with the social realities is important, but theory can aid in transforming those social realities. Changing reality depends so much not only on the laws we pass and the physical change that is enacted, but on the prevailing thoughts and attitudes that we inspire in others, in the tidal wave of thought. So much is changing already on so many fronts, but change is not real change unless attitudes change. Laws have been in place for a long time (nearly 50 years) against racial or sexual discrimination, yet these things happen on a daily basis because attitudes largely have not change, or have at least been pushed underground into more subtle (and, in my opinion, more sinister) forms of discrimination. Discrimination that dare not speak its name.

Sorry to get heavy on you guys (all of my classes really are this intense and thought provoking). One of my favorite classes this semester has been my pornography class. I know what you're thinking: all we do all day is sit and watch porn together, and oh wow that must be so terribly awkward. But you know, it's actually pretty great. It's nice to confront those awkward fears. The first week was all uncomfortable giggles, but my professor is unfailingly fearless in his approach to this class (it's his first time teaching it too!). He really isn't afraid to talk about these topics, and so neither are we. It's refreshing to really get an intellectual take on something you would think is so banal as pornography. There really is enough to talk about for 15 weeks. And it's even better that it's not just about denouncing porn as 100% misogynist or 100% sex-positive; there's some complexity to the subject, and we have to learn to be OK with that ambiguity it and our approach to it. There was a reason this class started with heavy readings of constitutional decisions on the attempt (and failure) to define obscenity. It really pushed a lot of people in the class to realize that there's no one way of being a "good" feminist. Even better, the teacher is really all about learning and stresses the importance of our writings assignments being a learning and exploratory experience, rather than one of assessment or grading. That attitude has really allowed me the space and freedom to take chances in writing something I wasn't totally sure of, just trying out ideas, not being afraid to try and fail. I think this is the best teaching method, one I wish all professors would adopt.

On a lighter note, this spring has become summer quite suddenly. In that vein, I have recently become obsessed (and I mean a real problem for my productivity) with looking for Lilly Pulitzer for Target clothing online and at stores. Target does limited collaborations with one designer every year and they're usually very popular. On April 19th, I lined up outside of my local Target at 7:20 AM to buy some Lilly Pulitzer dresses for cheap ($38 rather than $180?? Yes, please). It was me and 15 other crazy women in Lululemon pants and oversized sunglasses in line in front of me, all crazily caffeinated and shifting endlessly. We all had lists of our must-have items and store layouts in hand. The door opened and we rushed inside, grabbing everything we could off the racks and racing to the fitting room. I grabbed 13 pieces of clothing, but only 3 of them fit right or were worth buying. I got this lace crochet top and pom-pom shorts in a fish print, and a bikini top.

Photos: Target.com

I really wanted a shift dress (something that Lilly is famous for!) but the smallest size they had was a 2, and I'm at least a 0. I unfortunately didn't think of trying out the kids' shift dresses, as they apparently fit people my size (desperately trying to figure out how to do this)! The entire stock sold out in 20 minute, and the website crashed for hours. Now I'm looking to buy some of the kids' dresses, but I'm struggling because I never tried them on and I don't know what they would fit or look like on me. The struggle of online shopping. Sigh. To make it all worse, now people are selling things on eBay and Poshmark for 3 times the price! A $24 dress is going for prices as crazy as $75! Totally shameless vultures who just wanted the profit took away the opportunity for lots of people who wouldn't have the chance to buy regular Lilly to get it at an affordable price. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a bit of a consumerist (my dad, when I went into my parents' room that morning at 6:30 called me "the perfect consumer"), but at least I did it the fair way and gave away what didn't fit me rather than hoarding and selling it for a profit. Just goes to show what capitalism does to our country and moral values. However, I have found a beacon of light in this capitalist darkness: there is a Facebook group where women are desperately scouring their local Targets for items to send to people in different parts of the country who didn't get what they wanted. There may still be hope!

I'll wrap this up since I have a lot of work to do (it's nearing finals week, and I have like 4 papers to write...). I'll post some more soonish/whenever I can get around to it!

You Should Always Wear Glasses or Contacts in the Dorms

And here are the 3 reasons why:

1. Everything is a spider, or worse a cockroach. If it's big enough, it might even be a mouse.
2. You have to get real close to the clocks in the hallways to be able to read them.
3. Nobody is recognizable. But everyone knows you.

Just some late-night humour because I am blind as a bat.

Boys, Thin Mints, Cherry Blossoms

Dear Macblog readers,

There is a boy I've seen around the dorms and he is super cute. Like, we even have a serious fling going on in which sometimes we make eye contact for split seconds, but then one of us always leaves. It's really heating up, but I'm also like, maybe we should move to the next level and find out each other's names. Only time will tell how this will go!!
This weekend I finished the Hunter-Bellevue School of Nursing yearbook. In a reckless play with fate, the history of our school and important memories for the entire class, I submitted it at 11:58 when it was due at 11:59 pm. The yearbook was difficult, tedious, and really really stressful, but I had editors working on it and it ended up not being so bad. However, I do not covet the Editor-in-Chief of a Yearbook position AT ALL. Then again, I did get to ensure good pictures of me went in. lol.
I stayed at the dorms this weekend, a rare event, but I am trying to live out my last days in the dorms by doing exciting things and going places! I've never studied in central park, so I went to a picnic with nursing friends, ate thin mints and strolled among cherry blossoms. I'm glad I decided to because I have been chasing these blossoms for the past two weeks (couldn't go to botanical gardens OR randall's island events) and then they found me! They were in full bloom and it was beautiful!
I didn't actually do any studying, which is pretty problematic for my last 20% nursing test. Not too sure how that's going to pan out...but then again my instagram has more flowers now, so maybe it was 50-50 success?
I went to the Dean's Dinner at her house for seniors! I recommend it for all MHC seniors, even if you haven't met the Dean or talked much with her (I hadn't) it was nice to reflect on our experience and have a forum to share our thoughts and accomplishments, and give feedback. Plus she packed us the leftovers.
Tis all for now. This weather is crazy beautiful. It is making me go out and do things instead of stay in and study! AH! Senioritis why! Only a few more days left!! LESS THAN A MONTH TO GO. MY LAST FINAL IS MAY 20. OMG HOLY CRAP THAT IS  17 DAYS FROM NOW!?!? MY YOUTH IS DWINDLIN?!

Amirah

Quote of the week: "Why all the black ones gotta be at the botoom? See what I'm saying? ITS RACIAL" -  multiethnic lit professor, on munchkins

Impressions, Footsteps, and Last Deadlines

Hi, everyone!

It's a beautiful Saturday here in NYC, and everyone is out and about enjoying it. I'm starting this post as I sit on the train back home from a morning out. The boys who dance in the subway cars are dancing in the car I'm in. Haha. *Hear hip-hop music as you read this*

Last Saturday, I went to Arts Night to see my work displayed. I gave in two pieces. One is called Impressions, and it's a version of a poem that I first wrote during my sophomore year. I remember exactly where I was when I started writing it. I was sitting one of the bridges that connect the Hunter buildings, and I was just looking down Lexington Avenue. That's how the first line came to be. Just me sitting there in between classes looking at the intersections. The rest of the poem came relatively easily after that. It's been sitting on my computer virtually unchanged ever since then until I decided to experiment with it again a few weeks ago. Here is the completed version that I submitted to Arts Night:

My second piece is called Footsteps, and it's a series of 5 photographs taken over the course of nearly a year. Each photo is a story all on its own about that particular moment in time, and as a group, they tell the story of a relationship as it progresses over time. 

All of the photos with the red frame belong to the series. 

After taking photos of my own work, I looked at everyone else's submissions. There was some really great work there and a whole lot of talent. :)

Earlier that day, I had a Mexican torta and yummy cheesecake from Eileen's Special Cheesecake. I've been eating from a bunch of different places this semester, which has made my stomach happy. haha We're truly blessed in NYC to be able to access all this kind of food. 

Last Sunday was my last deadline for The Macaulay Messenger. And we'll be publishing our last edition of the year on Monday. I've been proud to be a part of it, and I hope that it goes on for many more years. :)

Speaking of deadlines, I'm facing my last deadlines for papers ever. And taking my last exams! Ahh.

Yesterday, I attended a meeting at the Macaulay building with a group of other seniors as part of the Senior Class Gift Committee. We discussed the upcoming events for seniors and things that we can do as alumni. The two Macaulay admins who were there also fed us pizza and yummy vegan food from Blossom. haha. Macaulay is the best at feeding us.

I love all things Frida Kahlo so I made this yesterday:

I found this photo of her a few weeks ago and intended to recreate it at some point. Yesterday, I was taking photos of myself in order to upload a new profile photo on Facebook (which I do on the first of every month) so I decided to try to recreate Frida's photo and put my own twist on it. This is now my cover photo on Facebook. I love how it turned out.

Let's hope this sunshine stays around!

S.

For this last semester, I've decided that I'll share one cool/interesting/thought-provoking thing that I happen to run across during the week:

Clothes and cognitive processing

Scones, Meatballs, and Weill Cornell

Hi, everyone!

It's a beautiful Saturday morning, and I'm feeling pretty good because I got to sleep in late. YES. Small victories in life.

Monday's endocrinology exam went well. Let's see what happens. I'm really loving this class though. I love learning all of the pathways and seeing how hormones control so many aspects of our physical lives.

That same day, I went to Bel Ami for the first time. I've passed by this French bakery so many times over the years and have never walked in because I always assumed it was too pricey and just too fancy for me. haha. But I was with someone, and he suggested that we stop by for some sweets. I'm so glad that we did! I got their apricot and walnut scone, and it was awesome! And it was $3, which is not too terrible. haha. They do have a $10 credit card minimum though so make sure that you have cash if you're only there for coffee and sweets.

We ended up going back to Bel Ami on Wednesday, and I got a brioche this time. It was great with some coffee from the Halal cart. We also went to The Meatball Shop that day. It was my first time being back since the summer before college started (back in 2011) so it was cool to be there as a 22- year-old. It made me think about how much of me had changed and what had stayed the same. The meatballs come in all sorts of varieties, and there is a vegetarian option, which I've heard great things about but have yet to try. haha. Definitely check it out. And the service was awesome! Our waiter was super polite and attentive. We went to the one on the Upper East Side, but I had a good experience in the Stanton Street location as well (the one I went to when I was 18).

On Tuesday, I went to an event about bioethics where one of the speakers was one of my former MHC seminar professors. It was funny because as soon as I walked into the room, he was like "Slavena?" haha. It was cool to catch up with him and tell him about what's going on with me as I graduate. I had him for seminar 3, and it ended up being one of the coolest classes that I took because it introduced me to philosophy and in particular, environmental philosophy, which is something that I had never been exposed to before.

I had to write 2 cover letters this past week for a couple of jobs that I'm applying for so I ended up going to see my MHC advisor so that she could look over them. She liked what I wrote so I just sent in the applications yesterday. I'm going to apply for some other things too and hopefully, I get something great to do next year. :)

Yesterday, I went to a tour of Weill Cornell Medical College, and there were a couple of former MHC students there. They told us about their experiences in med school, and why they chose Weill Cornell. I'm so glad I went because every one of these events motivates me to continue this journey.

S.

For this last semester, I've decided that I'll share one cool/interesting/thought-provoking thing that I happen to run across during the week:

Bruce Jenner's courage

Getting Through These Last Busy Weeks: Summer Plans!

As the weather warms up and due dates approach left and right, it can sometimes be a little overwhelming. For the next few weeks, I have essays and projects due almost every other day and then, of course, there are finals. Everyone deals with their stress a little bit differently, but the one thing that really helps me is knowing what I'm going to be doing in the summer and being able to look forward to it. I have a busy set of months until next school year, but busy doesn't have to be bad.

I was accepted into a summer program in Shanghai that I will be attending from the very end of June, basically July, to the end of August. I ended up applying for this program on my own, completely independently of help from Macaulay, Hunter, or Flagship, but even though that in itself was quite nerve wracking - I am so glad that I did. I can talk about the program and my experience applying for it on my own more in depth soon, but really I just wanted to say that it is really good to have something to look forward to. And it doesn't have to be a big thing. Besides this program, I'm also really excited to be able to watch my younger brother graduate from high school. That's going to be bizarre, but so so great. And I'm really excited just for warm weather! I went to Miami for Spring Break and got a taste of more consistently hot weather - I cannot wait.

So, if you are feeling a little bogged down in the stress of the end of a semester: just think of the things that you will get to do this summer. Even if you will be working or taking classes, make plans to do something special - just so that you can say "right, I need to sit tight now, and then I will get to do such and such." And, just remember that you can do this and everyone is rooting for you.

Florence Study Abroad Part VII: Milan and the Road Home

So here's the end of my Florence study abroad posts. It's feels so crazy that it was only 4 months ago that I went to Italy. And this summer I'll be going to France! So you'll be seeing lots more study abroad posts from me.

The final weekend in Italy, after I took my final, I took the train back to Milan and spent some time there before flying out early the next day. I only spent a day in Milan, but I covered some of the more famous sites.

 This is the original Duomo. The church was built over 500 years and had hundreds of different architects and designers. It took so long to build this church that it went through the period of Gothicism and into the period of neo-Gothicism. It's a beautiful monstrosity of a building. I climbed to the top which was terrifying as the roof is slanted.

This sign was hilarious and amazing. I think it was trying to warn us about the slanted roof of Duomo.

I was really proud of myself for recognizing this scene on the side of Duomo. This is the annunciation (I only saw about 400 other versions of this scene in paintings and churches).

 This car was just beautiful. (P.S. the police cars in Milan were all Lamborghinis; I don't know how they can afford that)

 The original Prada store in Galleria Vittorio. Kinda geeked out when I saw this as I'm still a bit of a fashion nerd.

 The inside of Galleria Vittorio; it's an outside, open-air mall next to Il Duomo

 Sforza Castle

The view of the Alps from the plane ride home. This is the view I had when I came to Italy and it was  an amazing reminder of how much had happened in three weeks and how beautiful this country truly is. Arrivederci Italia!

Florence Study Abroad Part VI: Class Visits

Of course I can't forget about the actual class I was taking while in Italy. I took a class on the Italian Renaissance, which covered art, history, literature, and architecture. I was lucky enough to study this subject right in the cradle of the Renaissance, with priceless historical artwork everywhere. Part of my class included trips to three different churches and museums.

First was Santa Croce.

This was a Franciscan church, which is why it's so plain compared to the intricate pattern of Santa Maria del Fiore. Some pretty famous people are buried in this church, including Galileo, Machiavelli, Rossini, and Michelangelo. We took a tour of some Giotto frescoes on the inside of the church. There was some water damage to the church during the flood of the Arno in 1966, so a lot of the artworks have been damaged.

 Michelangelo's tomb

Our second class trip was to the Uffizi Gallery. The Uffizi was originally the offices under the Medici family (uffizi means offices). It houses some of the most amazing artwork in the world, including the Tribuna, an octagonal room where there is art covering nearly every surface. This used to be where the most prized art and antiquities of the Medici family were displayed. You can't go in this room, but you can look at it from the outside. 

 Annunciation by Simone Martini

 The Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli

 Annunciation by Leonardo da Vinci

Our last class trip was to the Galleria dell'Accademia. The only truly important artwork at the Accademia was Michelangelo's David and his unfinished Prisoners. 

One of Michelangelo's Prisoners

Michelangelo believed that sculptures were imprisoned in marble and that he as the artist was charged with helping them escape and manifest in true form. These unfinished sculptures really embody his artistic method and his goal of perfection in all his work. But they don't even come close to the perfection of David.

There truly is no way to describe how beautiful this sculpture is. I just stood and stared at it for a good while. And then I took this picture:

Because I'm super lame and needed to do a tourist thing. (Yeah, I know I'm not doing it right, but it's hard when 3,000 other people also want to take this picture!)

And that's just a taste of some of the priceless artworks I got to see in person! My class trips were a great way to view a lot of art and to see the amazing quantity of first-class art in the city of Florence.

75 degree weather, Dean's Dinner, and a Blazer?

Hi, everyone!

Here's a Saturday post for you guys because I was so exhausted yesterday. It was a busy wonderful week back to school, but I didn't get to rest much so all of the tiredness came in yesterday. And I was extra tired because I walked 20 blocks to Whole Foods in shoes that are not meant for long walks (haha) to get some moisturizer, which I ended up not getting because I couldn't find a good one. Oh gosh.

And earlier that day I went to the CUNY Job Fair. The website said to dress well and not come in casual clothes so I came in the same electric blue dress that I wore to Senior Night back in February. I had a beige jacket over it just for the morning chill. I got to the fair, and I noticed that everyone else was wearing black and white. haha. When I got in line, a woman came up to me and asked if I had a blazer. I told her that I didn't, and she went to speak to someone before coming back to me. She ended up telling me to keep my jacket on while at the fair in order to meet the requirement of business attire.

But I did love that I stood out. Nobody else wore such a bold color with a lace overlay. haha

Now to get myself a blazer for the future...

Wednesday was absolutely gorgeous just like today. I love 70's weather. The sun is just perfect and maybe there's a slight breeze and the sky is blue. Ahh. Just beautiful.

On Wednesday, I went to a health professional school admissions panel where representatives from multiple schools gave us info about the admissions process and answered questions. I think that going to these kind of events is super important because you get to hear straight from the people that might be looking at your application.

On Tuesday, I went to Dean Kirschner's apartment for a dinner that she hosted for seniors. I'm so glad I went. It was about 10 of us (she's hosting two more nights), and we were able to have a casual conversation about what we love about Macaulay and what we can do to make it even better. She also had great food for us: sushi, chicken, noodles, and some dessert as well.

I have my second endocrinology exam bright and early on Monday morning. Wish me luck!

My mom and I made a yummy pasta dish today, and it was a recipe that I came up with!

Let's hope this sunniness continues...

S.

For this last semester, I've decided that I'll share one cool/interesting/thought-provoking thing that I happen to run across during the week:

Sanskrit words

Florence Study Abroad Part V: Side Trips and Adventures

Hey guys! Here's some pictures of some of the side trips and adventures I went on in and around Florence. Let me just start with some beautiful pictures of the main attractions in Florence: the Arno River and Ponte Vecchio.

The view of the Arno River from Ponte Vecchio

The view of Ponte Vecchio at sunset from the Uffizi Gallery (not even edited)

I also climbed both the Duomo and the bell tower. I was terrified and pretty much couldn't feel my legs the whole time, as I'm really scared of heights. My legs and feet also hurt a lot afterwards, as I climbed nearly 1,000 steps between the two towers, in impractical shoes I may add. But I got some pretty beautiful pictures of Florence out of it! We started climbing in the evening, and night fell as we reached the top.

 The view of Duomo and Florence from the bell tower.

The view of Florence from Duomo (it doesn't look like it, but Duomo is actually taller than the bell tower).

So I struggled a bit with the food in Italy after just a couple of weeks (so many carbs). I was lucky to find this Italian restaurant owned by a British man that actually made salads and chicken and not just pasta or pizza. I ate here four times in the last week I was in Florence. The place is called Acqua al 2 and they even have locations in America! Below are some pictures of the meal I had there every time I went (plus amazing and cheap wine, of course).

 Oh, how I missed salad until this moment...

 Best balsamic chicken on Earth (probably the deprivation of chicken talking there)

 This dessert sampler made me see the face of God: I have never liked cheesecake until I had this strawberry one (top right), and I don't think I'll ever like it again.

The outside of this restaurant is so beautiful and charming, almost like you're in a fairytale. They have about 5,000 stickers on their door from famous food guides and travel guides. Well-deserved, I might add. The food is delicious. They play really cool, lounge-like music inside that makes you feel like you're in a cool nightclub, and they have all these plates with signatures and notes from famous people and actors to the owner, whom I met every time I went. Apparently this is in the theater district of Florence, which you would never know since it is nothing like Times Square or Broadway.

I also visited Boboli Gardens, the private gardens of the royal family next to Palazzo Pitti.

The famous tree tunnels, where the trees grew together to form a tunnel of shade.  Immensely beautiful.

Speaking of delicious food and wine, the last week I was in Italy, my group decided to book a tour of a winery in Chianti country. And yes, this is where true Chianti wine comes from. The wine is certified by a board to be "true" Chianti if a certain percentage of the grapes they use in the wine come from this region and are grown in a specific type of soil and fermented for a certain amount of time, etc. They put a black rooster on the bottle to certify it. This experience had to be my favorite part of the trip, not only because of the wine, but because of the food.

 This is that amazingly beautiful postcard picture you buy of an Italian vineyard (p.s. this was the view out of the bathroom...)

 Meet, cheese, and bread pairings for the wine. They had this amazing bread with the most delicious olive oil on Earth (top left). That thing in the middle was homemade sweet and spicy sauce that the proprietor made for us!

 My favorite of the four wines we tasted

 Greve, the closest town to the vineyard. Quaint and pretty at night.

Probably the best picture I'll ever have.