Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Journeying through Nursing School

I'm so tired, but this is one of the last few of my posts EVER on this blog and today was the last day of nursing school, so I feel it's a bit momentous.

I'll be honest, I didn't love nursing before I started nursing school. Then whyever did you apply, Amirah, if you were so sure that your passions lay in film, teaching, english and journalism? Because, I was undecided, and nursing was secure. I thought it was dumb and that anyone with a minimum education could do it because nurses have had a terrible image in the media. But, my friends, this is a lie, because it is one of the toughest undergrad majors there is. I believe this is because it's sort of like condensed undergrad medical school. Also, it wasn't dumb, on account of how my GPA has dropped because it was so very challenging. We do hours of rotations, then a preceptorship (96 hours in one month! Go me!) at the very end all while taking pharmacology or pathophysiology classes in addition to 8credit nursing lecture classes. It is impossible a) not to become a cult group with your nursing friends b) not to love your nursing friends to DEATH because nursing friendships are truly a different kind of friendship. When you wipe butts together, live under constant fear of failure and study seemingly impossible material together, you're bonded for life. My peers were so supportive, so caring, genuine, smart and funny that from the first day I couldn't help but love the career I convinced myself I would hate. I am clumsy, a bit of a daydreamer, and hate(d) needles. But I found out that I loved the human body (proud college moment: getting a 100 on an A&P lab test); that I could draw blood on others without shriveling up (while I hate needles, I'm ok with putting them in others); that needles are useful for medication-drawing; that there's nothing more I love than working with my geriatric patients; that I want to be just like the inspiring faculty I've met here; that endless access to alcohol swabs is life-changing; that running around is what I'm best at; that talking to patients comes naturally and I love being able in a position to help others; that I look decent in scrubs and maybe it's fate that I'm in a career where I can just where the same thing every day cuz I'm really excellent at that; that I'm really, really proud of the way nursing is a lifestyle and not just a profession; that the opportunities and fields in nursing are endless. Nursing earned my respect, and it deserves it.

I came into the program feeling like I'd relinquished my love for English and writing and found that there was a nursing newsletter I could join. I thought nursing closed doors to me - because I couldn't double major, minor, or take too many outside classes - but I was so wrong. It is SO cliche. But I've never been so happy to be wrong and to have grown to love something the way I did with nursing. Hunter-Bellevue changed my life. I cared more about my health - because you can't be a nurse without making healthy lifestyle adjustments - and got mini abs from running these past 5 months! I love nurses and the kind of people that become nurses. They are so kind, and dedicated.

Am I still crazy frightened about a) passing the NCLEX and b) honing my skills as a nurse? YES. Because it is a TOUGH JOB. Being on your feet for 12 hours a shift? Having lives in your hands? I wanted to go straight to grad school because I love being a student, but I've finally accepted that becoming comfortable with my skills as a nurse is a lot more important right now. And for those other passions - journalism, english, media, teaching - of mine? I found a way to follow my English passion in nursing and I know that there's a dire need for nursing faculty. I'm interested in media portrayals of nursing and....I think I'll try to find a way to make it all work. Otherwise, I'll be okay following my love of film by marathoning at home. You can always make your passion a hobby.
I'm excited and terrified to join the field and care for people. I'm anxious about the school to work transition. I'm sad to leave my friends; I'm emotional about being on the "cusp of adulthood" but mostly, I'm glad I've made it this far.

Amirah

PS. May is great, and so busy, much events!
PPS. THEY CANCELED THE MINDY PROJECT AND MY LIFE IS OVER!

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