You're Only Human: A Post On Self-Care In Which I Become Your Mother

It's now officially finals season for college students, and it's also time for midterms for high schoolers and the beginning of Early Decision/Early Action results, as well as the holiday season. Regardless if you're reading this blog as a fellow Macaulay student, a prospective freshman, or a parent curious as to what your child's life could be like at Macaulay, I want to remind you - you are only human. 
I used to run myself to the ground every December, trying to do too much. Since then I've learned that you can't do anything if you don't take care of yourself, since your body will eventually just give out on you. I spent over 2 weeks at home because I got so sick from not taking proper care of myself in high school. It was a real wake-up call. I don't think I'm doing any less than I did back then, I think I'm just being smarter about it. Below is a big chunk of love and advice that I've compiled over the years. If you're like me and have a tendency to over-stretch yourself, or you're just under a lot right now, please read on.

For Those Facing Exams:

You have spent months studying. You know most, if not all of the information. I am one of those people who panics over not knowing everything - I understand that you feel like you're going to fail if you don't remember everything. Many people waste time studying things they basically understand. If you've got time, do review things you have a solid knowledge of. But devote all last minute time to things you have a harder time remembering. Our brains do a cool thing called "instant recall", which is when you read your notes 15 minutes before the exam and can basically regurgitate everything you just read onto your test paper. Do that for hopeless causes. 

Some people work well in study groups, some don't. Figure out which one you are and don't be afraid to do what works for you. I am a solo-studier, so I sometimes have to turn down group invitations. If that's your problem too, don't feel bad about it. If you study well in groups, make sure it's a group of your intellectual peers. Don't be the only one who understands the material in a group, because then people expect you to explain everything, and then your problems don't get addressed. When it comes to your exams, you should be selfish.

In college, many professors give 4 prompts and say "Pick 3". Even if there are things you don't understand on an exam, you can be okay. If you really haven't got a clue, make stuff up. Put facts about things that are almost relevant. Try and connect it to anything you understand and focus on explaining that. Draw a really beautiful whale. Be purposefully vague. Partial credit is better than no credit.

For Those Facing Papers:

You have spent months studying, You understand the concepts. You're reading this, so clearly you can read and likely write.You can crank this out. Don't be scared to ask your professor for clarification - sometimes talking to a professor makes your own thoughts on your essay clearer. They can also help steer you in the right direction.

If you're writing a research paper, check the sources of your sources. Sometimes, you can use additional information from them, and it's a bonus because they'll already be in alignment with your essay! The are only two pieces of useful information on Wikipedia are the reliable sources on the bottom, and the "Read More" section. They won't be all the sources you need, but its a place to start. 

Talk your essay out. Sometimes hearing yourself talk about it helps move an essay along. Friends can be forced to listen for input and advice. That's why they're friends.

Install one of those website-blocker/parental-control things the internet has and block Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, this website... everything that can't be used to write a paper. Better to take temptation away. 

You need to have at least one person edit your work before you submit it. (Here's Why) Find a friend or a parent or a stranger in a coffee shop and tell them you need them to look at spelling, at grammar, and at content. It doesn't matter if the person has no knowledge of the subject you're writing on - your essay should be clear even without an extensive knowledge of the field.

For Those Facing College Decisions:

Whatever happens: don't let it distract you from what you must do now. Not studying because you got a full ride to Harvard isn't going to fly.

Acceptance: Congratulations. You're the lucky soul who has cute bedding in your dorm because you got it cheap in the after-Christmas sale. If it's binding, yay! You know where you're going. If it's not, even better, because that means you can still come to Macaulay. Remember that most colleges still look at your last semester grades and can rescind your acceptance. 

Rejection: Ouch. I'm sorry. You've still got other colleges that will accept you. Macaulay hasn't sent out our decisions yet, so you can still go to an amazing school. I know it hurts though, and my humour isn't helping. But remember that they're not looking at you alone - they're trying to "build the perfect class" which means that sometimes, they'll reject people for silly reasons.

Wait Listed/Rolled over: Sometimes colleges will postpone making a decision on you until the regular application season. Its awful because it means more waiting, but at least you know that you're at the top of the pile. Keep your grades up, and if you've done anything cool since you submitted, ask the college about supplementing your application with more recent materials. Good luck!

For Those Facing the Holidays:

Family is weird. That's why Great-Aunt Myrtle keeps asking you the same questions and Grandpa Joe still tries to get you to "Pull my finger!" If you're having trouble standing them, remember that the holidays are brief and in the car home you can decompress. My mom and I used to have marathon complaining sessions complete with impressions in the car. It made holiday get together worthwhile. If you're family isn't the get-together type, or doesn't get along, or you don't see them, remember that you have friends as well that love you. Reach out to them. People always say you have to love your family because "blood is thicker than water". The problem with that is the quote is actually "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". Sometimes, your friends are better than your family.

If you don't know what to get a person, ask. Its better to admit you want guidance than to get them something they'll hate. And if you can't get the perfect present because of time or money or availability, remember its the thought that counts. People should be flattered  that you'd even want to get them a present.

If you just hate holidays - grow a heart, Scrooge. No, I realize that the hype around Christmas is obnoxious to those who don't celebrate it, or those who celebrate other holidays at the same time. I can't imagine it being fun to be bombarded with a commercialized version of a religious holiday that holds absolutely no significance to you. January is just around the corner and eventually the streets will be lined with dead Christmas trees and the season will finally be over.

TO ALL:

You need to take care of yourself. People think that during finals they can run on caffeine and willpower alone. That's not true.

Stretch more. Remember that you have muscles that you don't always use. Get reacquainted with them.

Eat. Buy yourself a nice lunch. Alone. Don't take anyone with you. Go sit in a diner, or a coffee shop, or at a bar counter and get your favourite thing. Eat a good dinner that you've cooked yourself. Put some time into it. Use spices. Eat breakfast before tests. You'll be less distracted, since you won't be hungry. So you can think "Oh! The answer is B!" not "Oh god I'm so hungry did people just hear my stomach growl it's so loud I want a BLT crap that was my stomach again... Wait what is this test about?"

Drink water. Most people are chronically dehydrated. It makes you more susceptible to disease, it makes you sleepier, and it makes you think you're hungry when you're not. 8 Cups a day folks. And since most American glasses are actually 1 1/2 or 2 cups, it's not that hard. A bottle of water is 2. Refill it 3 more times, and you're good.

Remember that you need to sleep. When you stay up to long, you can be considered as impaired as someone who is legally drunk. You wouldn't write your papers or take your tests drunk, so don't take them sleep deprived either. Don't think you have to sleep 8 hours straight, either. I tend to sleep 4-5 hours at night then take 2 little naps in the afternoon and early evening. College is one of the only times you'll get that sort of freedom with your sleep cycles, so try it out. It can work in High School too, it's just more difficult since you don't have gaps in classes or time between school and work.

Take your medication. If you have something you're supposed to take, take it. Take your vitamins while you're at it.

Laugh. Find funny cat videos on the internet. Watch your dog. Play a prank on your younger sibling. Play a prank on your mom. Dance with your friends. Sometimes you need to take 15 minutes and laugh about something to feel like a human.

Get your flu shot. You don't need to get the flu, you don't have time for the flu. You can get it at every drugstore, and most of the time, it's free. You also need to get it for "community immunity". Not only does that sound cool, it means that people who can't get immunizations (typically because their immune system is compromised) are protected from the flu. By eradicating the disease in the majority of the population, we protect that minority.

Repeat after me:

I am a human being. I am not a machine. I am a biological creature that has needs. If you ignore the needs of a dog, or a cat, or a child, it is called neglect. If I ignore my own needs, it is still neglect. I will pay attention to the signals my body gives me. If I am hungry, I will eat. If I am tired, I will sleep. If I am sick, I will seek attention for it. If I need a hug, I will ask someone for one. I will not neglect myself.