Be a Diamond

Hi, everyone.

There are way too many ups and downs during the course of a week. Things can go from totally hopeless to fantastic in the course of a few hours. I'm still perfecting the skill of not letting my emotions go up and down along with my circumstances. This idea ties in with what we've been talking about in my Asian Religions this week. We've been discussing the The Yoga Sutras, which address the ways of reaching "the highest state" through yoga. The text compares the ideal yogi to a crystal (such as a diamond). A diamond has the ability to reflect light and remain perfectly colorless. This is analogous to a human being who does not let his surroundings affect him, but simply observes. No matter what is going on, he is at peace. Not all of us can be yogis, but we can adopt this principle to our lives. If you stop and think about it, our consciousness is constantly bombarded by external stimuli and our own confusing thoughts. If you respond to every stimulus, whether positive or negative, it eventually takes a toll on you. I'm not saying to sit through life stone-faced, but keep things in perspective. Maybe don't freak out about those 2 points that you missed on a quiz or about that boy who's indifferent to your attempts to flirt with him or that professor who you swear is out to get you. For a moment, just take yourself out of the situation, and don't let it control your emotional state. I tend to react to everything in a big way. If I'm pissed off, then I get really vocal about it or if I'm happy, then I'm all super smiley and peppy. I'm trying to learn to maintain a somewhat constant emotional state even if things are going crazy around me.

Speaking of ups and downs, every Thursday, I have a quiz in Bio 203. There are no midterms or final. Just one homework and one quiz every week. Sounds good, right? Well, not so much. I like that I'm not going to stress for midterms or finals, but instead of that I'm stressing every week about the quiz.  My professor's quizzes are based on material that he gives in class, so the textbook is not too helpful. The key is taking good notes, paying attention to what he says, and connecting the dots between different concepts. It's definitely been tough, but so far I'm managing it. I'm grateful to my friend because he started a study group. It's just three of us reviewing for about an hour every Thursday. I find that talking about the topics helps me feel more comfortable with them. But when the quiz comes, I still get nervous and feel like I don't have a full understanding of things. Sigh. The questions are not always clearly worded so I'm always doubting myself. He also expects us to make certain connections on our own so when I'm answering a particular question, I might not always see the connection. But I'm trying to just have a clear head during the exam and not panic. The key is to just pull through and not give up. Science classes are definitely not a breeze at Hunter. My stomach still sinks when I think of my struggles with Orgo last year.

I want to end on some kind of fun note. Hmmm...

For me, creating some kind of art calms me down and makes me feel better about just about anything. Poetry is a major artistic release for me. I remember writing my first poem when I was in second grade. I've never been good at drawing or playing instruments or acting, but I've always had a affinity to poems. Sometimes I go back to read my poems from years ago, and I laugh at the cliches and strange themes, but I love them having them. They are a reflection of what I was feeling at the moment no matter how corny or silly or weird.  I still write whenever I get inspiration, and I like to think that my poetry has gotten better as I've had more life experiences, and as I've learned how to use language more effectively. So why am I telling you guys this? It's important to have some kind of artistic release because there is great freedom in creating some kind of art. You don't have to be Picasso or Shakespeare or Frost. Just create something that is true to you and true to what you feel at a particular moment. It's incredibly exhilarating to channel your energy whether happy, frustrated, angry, or sad into some kind of art.

Most of us don't think of ourselves as artists. But what does an artist do? Create. We create things all the time in all of kinds of ways. A beautiful essay, a thoughtful conversation, a smashing outfit, doodles in class notes, the humming of favorite songs, etc. I find it beautiful to think of humans as works of art who create other works of art.

S.

Poem of the Week

Be with those who help your being.
Don't sit with indifferent people, whose breath
comes cold out of their mouths.
Not these visible forms, your work is deeper.

A chunk of dirt thrown in the air breaks to pieces.
If you don't try to fly,
and so break yourself apart,
you will be broken open by death,
when it's too late for all you could become.

Leaves get yellow. The tree puts out fresh roots
and makes them green.
Why are you so content with a love that turns you yellow?

~ Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi, Be With Those Who Help Your Being