Dear god, this is my third post in 2 weeks. Have I no life? The answer to that question is yes. I have none. I'm about to be a second-semester senior in exactly 9 days (my 40-day break is ending. I am so sad) and I am terrified. Since the school year started I've been crossing my fingers, saying "hopefully" and things like "that's the plan," and praying that the year just goes smoothly. I'm almost there, and yet, I just want to get across the finish line.
I've noticed that as the years go by, I'm becoming a lot less devoted to my school work. School is all I do, though, so it's a shame that I feel I'm not putting 100% effort into it. My relatives still groan at me for carrying around my textbooks with me to social events, but at this point they're just for a peaceful psychological state of mind. I used to be so on top of everything! Effort was my best friend! But now, I'm a week away from a huge pharm test that I am genuinely cowering from, but I have bizarrely chosen TO NOT STUDY YET. I am avoiding it even more than I avoid MRSA, Victoria's Secret, vacuuming and threading my upper lip. And I really avoid those things!
I think the root of the problem is that I'm going to need to be on top of my nursing game this semester, and it's going to require a last burst of effort. Also I have to figure out the Nursing yearbook. This is serious stuff. This is people's lives and a license. And also people's senior pictures (this is debatably the scarier thing to handle). And since I have an inherent terror of being serious and doing serious things, it's a little scary. I'm proving to be terrible at dealing with scary things! For example, Battle Royale is scary so I just wimped out on watching it! Even though I loved the book!
But I can't wimp out here, so I'm procrastinating instead.
Scarlett O'Hara was a master procrastinator ("I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy." "I'll think about it tomorrow, when I can stand it." "...Tomorrow is another day!" Girl was in love with the concept of tomorrow!), but she still worked hard and like, probably got Rhett back in the end. If she could succeed so can I!
Anyway, senioritis creeps up on everyone, but I hope it goes away, because I have more schooling to go to get to where I want to be. Prospective freshmen reading this: I hope my drudgery hasn't scared you. You shall be fine, and work really hard up until your senior year, at least. I pat myself on the back every now and then thinking of all the papers and projects I did in college. Tip I would give you though: limit what social media you can. I think adding up the hours I spent on fb, etc, in college would be a shameful, horrendous amount of time that I'm sure I could've used to learn another language.
This week, whenever I was on the subway or watching a patient sleep, I wrote notes and thoughts on scraps of paper to occupy the time. Then I promptly dropped one. Now, I know what you're thinking: Cute guy finds it, reads the note, finds it hilariously entertaining, enjoys my writing, connects to my soul, etc etc, we fall madly in love (I realize I'm vaguely describing part of the plot to The Sky is Everywhere) and get to tell the cutest, most original anecdote of our serendipitous meeting for the rest of our lives. Alas, I am not living the life of a rom-com, no matter how many I've watched this week. The housekeeping staff member who found it thought it was a love-letter (It was not, despite my convincing flowery handwriting. I don't think she believed me, though, because she grinned at me and said it was a pity she hadn't had her reading glasses) and the nurse who found it said, "It was a little strange. I was concerned." I was actually wildly embarrassed and am hoping I get floated around because I can't go back to this unit right now. (Whatever, nurse! Sorry for you that you don't appreciate my creative exercises in dialogue-writing and possibly useful notes on the sounds of snoring!)
Update on the gym: I went twice this week with my brother. Turns out I'm bad at working and gymming, but progress is progress, and I went like 4 times last week. So I'm pretty sure that covers me for like, a month. At least, it should. Today I had a great workout anyway because I tried to hack into the ice cream container before letting it defrost. It took me about 3 minutes, and I ended up with 2 scoops (a good thing, in retrospect, as it was late and I did not need that much sugar) and sore upper body muscles after digging fruitlessly into the ice cream.
Lastly, and obviously most importantly, things I've watched:
-Breaking Dawn Part 2 : My sister and I have waited years to finally sit down and heckle this movie as it deserves, but it turned out being the best of the bunch and we actually enjoyed it. R-Pat looked his best, and acted well (once they took out the "Oh Bella. I am so angsty that I cannot function unless I hover around you solemnly all the time and use every moment to declare love for you in a forced American accent," and "Jacob! You dog. Come let us snarl at each other!" lines, he was nice to watch. Calm, relaxed, and sweet, he took away all the comedy in these films by acting normally). Kristen Stewart breathed and stuff and said Edward's name like, a little bit less than usual! Charlie's character/actor are easily the best in the series.
-Hart of Dixie : this is all I want my life to be. I'm halfway there, she's from NY and moves south, I'm from NY and could move south
-Legend of Korra: awesome, awesome show. It totally is all about inner growth and maturation. Subversive ending indeed.
Here are two lovely poems I read this week (ugh, ok, I got them from Untold instead of being cool and just having my own awesome poetry collection)
I've noticed that as the years go by, I'm becoming a lot less devoted to my school work. School is all I do, though, so it's a shame that I feel I'm not putting 100% effort into it. My relatives still groan at me for carrying around my textbooks with me to social events, but at this point they're just for a peaceful psychological state of mind. I used to be so on top of everything! Effort was my best friend! But now, I'm a week away from a huge pharm test that I am genuinely cowering from, but I have bizarrely chosen TO NOT STUDY YET. I am avoiding it even more than I avoid MRSA, Victoria's Secret, vacuuming and threading my upper lip. And I really avoid those things!
I think the root of the problem is that I'm going to need to be on top of my nursing game this semester, and it's going to require a last burst of effort. Also I have to figure out the Nursing yearbook. This is serious stuff. This is people's lives and a license. And also people's senior pictures (this is debatably the scarier thing to handle). And since I have an inherent terror of being serious and doing serious things, it's a little scary. I'm proving to be terrible at dealing with scary things! For example, Battle Royale is scary so I just wimped out on watching it! Even though I loved the book!
But I can't wimp out here, so I'm procrastinating instead.
Scarlett O'Hara was a master procrastinator ("I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy." "I'll think about it tomorrow, when I can stand it." "...Tomorrow is another day!" Girl was in love with the concept of tomorrow!), but she still worked hard and like, probably got Rhett back in the end. If she could succeed so can I!
Anyway, senioritis creeps up on everyone, but I hope it goes away, because I have more schooling to go to get to where I want to be. Prospective freshmen reading this: I hope my drudgery hasn't scared you. You shall be fine, and work really hard up until your senior year, at least. I pat myself on the back every now and then thinking of all the papers and projects I did in college. Tip I would give you though: limit what social media you can. I think adding up the hours I spent on fb, etc, in college would be a shameful, horrendous amount of time that I'm sure I could've used to learn another language.
This week, whenever I was on the subway or watching a patient sleep, I wrote notes and thoughts on scraps of paper to occupy the time. Then I promptly dropped one. Now, I know what you're thinking: Cute guy finds it, reads the note, finds it hilariously entertaining, enjoys my writing, connects to my soul, etc etc, we fall madly in love (I realize I'm vaguely describing part of the plot to The Sky is Everywhere) and get to tell the cutest, most original anecdote of our serendipitous meeting for the rest of our lives. Alas, I am not living the life of a rom-com, no matter how many I've watched this week. The housekeeping staff member who found it thought it was a love-letter (It was not, despite my convincing flowery handwriting. I don't think she believed me, though, because she grinned at me and said it was a pity she hadn't had her reading glasses) and the nurse who found it said, "It was a little strange. I was concerned." I was actually wildly embarrassed and am hoping I get floated around because I can't go back to this unit right now. (Whatever, nurse! Sorry for you that you don't appreciate my creative exercises in dialogue-writing and possibly useful notes on the sounds of snoring!)
Update on the gym: I went twice this week with my brother. Turns out I'm bad at working and gymming, but progress is progress, and I went like 4 times last week. So I'm pretty sure that covers me for like, a month. At least, it should. Today I had a great workout anyway because I tried to hack into the ice cream container before letting it defrost. It took me about 3 minutes, and I ended up with 2 scoops (a good thing, in retrospect, as it was late and I did not need that much sugar) and sore upper body muscles after digging fruitlessly into the ice cream.
Lastly, and obviously most importantly, things I've watched:
-Breaking Dawn Part 2 : My sister and I have waited years to finally sit down and heckle this movie as it deserves, but it turned out being the best of the bunch and we actually enjoyed it. R-Pat looked his best, and acted well (once they took out the "Oh Bella. I am so angsty that I cannot function unless I hover around you solemnly all the time and use every moment to declare love for you in a forced American accent," and "Jacob! You dog. Come let us snarl at each other!" lines, he was nice to watch. Calm, relaxed, and sweet, he took away all the comedy in these films by acting normally). Kristen Stewart breathed and stuff and said Edward's name like, a little bit less than usual! Charlie's character/actor are easily the best in the series.
-Hart of Dixie : this is all I want my life to be. I'm halfway there, she's from NY and moves south, I'm from NY and could move south
-Legend of Korra: awesome, awesome show. It totally is all about inner growth and maturation. Subversive ending indeed.
Here are two lovely poems I read this week (ugh, ok, I got them from Untold instead of being cool and just having my own awesome poetry collection)
- Do not stand at my grave and weep.
- I am not there. I do not sleep.
- I am a thousand winds that blow.
- I am the diamond glints on snow.
- I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
- I am the gentle autumn rain.
- When you awaken in the morning’s hush
- I am the swift uplifting rush
- Of quiet birds in circled flight.
- I am the soft stars that shine at night.
- Do not stand at my grave and cry;
- I am not there. I did not die.
- - Mary Elizabeth Frye
- and
- Warm summer sun shine kindly here
- Warm south wind blow kindly here
- Still and always burns your light
- Good night, dear heart, good night, good night.
- -Robert Richardson, adapted by Mark Twain, I think, and found in the book Unmade
No comments:
Post a Comment